Faraday stares stupidly as Vasquez moves around the room, as he speaks, as he formulates a plan of attack, and—
For the second time today, Faraday feels like the ground has opened up beneath him, like he’s falling and falling and falling, with no end in sight, and—
He has no idea what to do.
He’s only half-listening to Vasquez’s words, the majority of them drowned out by the way his pulse pounds in his ears, roaring and echoing, but he catches the gist of it. Vasquez is leaving. Vasquez is leaving, and Faraday knew this day would come eventually, but not now. It feels like they’ve only just set out together; Faraday expected them to part ways some weeks or months down the line, but not this soon.
Once Vasquez lifts up his saddlebags, Faraday snaps back to himself, like he’s blinking awake after dozing off, and he straightens, putting his back to the door.
“No.”
The word tears itself from his throat, escapes on a barely voiced rasp; he hardly realizes he’s said it until its fallen from his lips, but— well, he sure as hell isn’t taking it back.
(But what he really wants to say is Don’t go.)
“Hell, Vasquez. It’s been all of ten minutes of—” And he falters for the right word, the right phrasing. “—of me... knowing. We haven’t even tried.”
When Faraday backs into the door and blocks his way out, panic and a haze of impulse floods him for the briefest of seconds when he thinks about stupid things like trying to wrestle him away from it, knocking him unconscious, and all other kinds of stupid ideas. Luckily, it clears quickly enough, even if his gut is twisting up, wrenched by the bad idea of all of this.
"What, I get no say in this?" he snaps at him, irritably, as he narrows his eyes at Faraday, wondering why he's not allowed to do what he wants (even though this isn't what he wants, but it will be the best in the long run).
Disbelief is dominant on his face as he scoffs. "I don't want to sit around a campfire miserably waiting while you flirt with the women in towns I can't go into, some pathetic idiota enamorado and eventually left when you find something better because now you don't want to come back."
It had been so much better when Faraday had been in the dark and none of this was a problem for them.
"You're not going to let me help with your pain," he points out. "Because now you'll see my hands on you differently. Every time I tease you now, you're saying you don't flinch, won't look away?" He shakes his head, having convinced himself of the certainty of this future in his mind. "Tried what? Tried that? You didn't even want to talk about the dream I had last night, now you're going to be okay knowing all this? Having it in your face? No eres tan estúpido, you know that won't work."
Something sinks in his gut again, because Vasquez has something of a point. This— thing between them is going to color their interactions, their conversations. And he has a point, that the dream Vasquez had had last night had been awkward as hell, had made something tangle in Faraday’s chest, uncertain of how to proceed, but—
“That— that was different,” he insists again, and he feels color rising up his neck, coloring his cheeks, as he stumbles over his words. “That was— I thought you were— I didn’t think—”
He had assumed – wrongly, apparently – that Vasquez would have appreciated Faraday saving him the embarrassment of having to explain himself, would have appreciated Faraday’s rare instance of discretion. Dreams were hardly indicators of reality, anyway. Just because a man dreamed he had the head of a horse didn’t mean that’s what he wanted, and Faraday had imagined it was the same sort of situation, here.
He shakes his head sharply, frustrated and redirecting his focus.
“Stop doing that,” he snaps, once Vasquez slips into his native tongue again. “Talk so I can understand it, damn it.”
A silly thing to focus on, but far easier than the wild, snapping creature whose shadow has fallen over them.
Faraday still isn't moving away and he's stammering so much that Vasquez knows that he's right. He's also getting to the point of embarrassment and frustration that he's rounding up on being an asshole of big proportions, stepping a little further so that he's in Faraday's space, gearing up for a fight.
"You didn't think, not a surprise," he tells him, sneering. "You want for me to speak English? Fine," he snaps, even though the Spanish had been because in his heightened state of emotion, Spanish is just easier for him to fall back on, but if Faraday wants all of the truth, then he can have it all.
Let him flush and stammer and feel awkward around him, if he's going to demand it, then Vasquez is happy to keep going down this awful, endless track. "I said that I don't want to sit around like a lovesick idiot while you flirt with your women," he says, pushing at Faraday's shoulder to push him against the door, wanting to get out of this room. "That you're not so stupid to think that everything can go on the same." Another push and he cocks his head to the side, challenging. "That you'll sit there and let your leg lock up, stop joking with me, that's what should be your future?"
He wants to push and push, make Faraday snap and see the point -- this can't work and the sooner they both understand it, the sooner they can deal with the separation, the sooner Vasquez can go lick his wounds and mend his heart.
"Let me out," he says, low and sharp. "I want out of this fucking room," he says, breathing out the profanity like he's exhausted. "I need a drink."
Each word that passes through Vasquez’s lips feels like a blow, like the sharp, ripping lash of a whip. Even back at Rose Creek, when the two of them were circling one another like wary, starved dogs, Vasquez had never spoken to him like this.
It hurts, in a way, even if it’s hardly the harshest thing anyone has ever said to him. But as with most things, it just serves to stoke Faraday’s ire, making his expression darken and darken until his jaw clenches so tightly he thinks his teeth might shatter with it. He bears each of Vasquez’s shoves with surprising composure, even if his fingers reflexively twitch for the reassuring weight of his revolvers – but they’re just talking. Just talking. And even with as angry as the two of them are, snapping and snarling, Faraday isn’t about to go for his guns.
They’re friends, after all.
Or... were friends, and the thought is yet another blow to the gut.
He takes breath after steadying breath, trying to swallow down the anger rising up his throat like bile.
“If I let you out,” he says slowly, with a patience he hardly feels but seems able to mimic a little effectively. “I don’t trust that you’re not gonna run off.”
And it hangs silently in the air between them, the words he doesn’t speak: I don’t want you to go.
Selfish of him, he knows, but Faraday has always been a selfish bastard.
He needs to keep swinging, keep pushing, twisting the knife until Faraday sees the blood and decides that it's a lost cause, no matter how much it tears him apart to do this. He keeps staying right where he is, he doesn't even push back when Vasquez pushes at him. That had been his first hope for escape, thinking maybe if he could bait Faraday into a fistfight, he could scramble his way out.
Then, instead of arguing back or shouting, he just speaks calmly and patiently. Gaping at him with disbelief, Vasquez wonders what the hell has changed to make him so mature and calm.
Without meaning to, he sags a little in the shoulders, not taking his eyes off Faraday. "I'm not going to go," he vows, even if Faraday won't believe him. "I'm just going to go back to the saloon and drink until I pass out." He can't just go, not yet, he just doesn't want to be stuck in this room.
Now that the anger has ebbed slightly, Vasquez sees how close he is to Faraday, how intimately close. Stepping back, he swallows back other words, ones that are cruel and aimed to hurt.
"Why do you care so much that I stay?" he asks, because maybe that's the answer he really needs, before he can make a decision about what happens next.
Faraday is just a far better bluffer than Vasquez is.
Deep down, something thrashes and snaps inside him, dark and confused and afraid, panicking at the thought of Vasquez leaving him behind, at the idea that Faraday has fucked this up, somehow. That he’s ruined this, because that’s what he does. He’s been on his own for this long for a reason. Folks get sick of him. Get tired of him. Lose patience with him. He had hoped he’d have longer with Vasquez, at least. Hoped that with as similar as they were, they’d have something of an understanding. Only— they have a larger problem falling between them, and he has no idea how to handle it, how to fix it.
He hardly looks convinced by Vasquez’s promise, even if it sounds sincere, because— because maybe Vasquez won’t leave, but he’ll be back in that damned saloon, back with handsome, charming Josiah, and that son of a bitch of a barkeep will sense that bit of vulnerability and swoop in, and—
And why does he care? He shouldn’t give a shit, right? If Vasquez wanted to enjoy someone else’s company for the evening after all this mess, Faraday should let him, shouldn’t he? “Why not indulge?” he had asked just a handful of minutes ago, even if something that soured in him with the asking.
And that ugly thing writhes in him again, twists at his gut, claws the inside of his ribs. He doesn’t want to think about Vasquez with anyone else. Not with Josiah and his perfect Spanish, or Henrietta, with her dark eyes and confident smile. He doesn’t want Vasquez to fall into anyone else’s bed, because—
And when Vasquez poses that question to him, Faraday visibly flounders until the answer strikes him like a bolt of lightning. He goes rigid with it, eyes widening.
—Because he wants Vasquez.
It clicks into place so suddenly, so abruptly, that he forgets how to breathe for a long moment. And suddenly everything makes sense, just as much as it all feels equally confusing, still.
“I...” It’s strangled, choked out, a million words stopping up his throat, color rising in his cheeks, at the tips of his ears. He brings up a hand to scrub at his brow, eyes darting down to the floor. “I...”
Maybe in a different moment, it would be hilarious to see the silver-tongued Joshua Faraday at a complete loss for words.
He's never seen Faraday speechless before. That, more than anything, throws Vasquez from his rhythm and he falters completely. Not only does he forget everything that he's been saying, not only does he forget his intense need for a drink, but he forgets that he's supposed to be casual and not familiar. "Guero," he says worriedly, the first nickname he's used since this whole thing began. "What is it? Are you having a heart attack?"
It may seem like a stupid question, but in his defense, he's never seen Faraday look this way. He looks flushed and he can't speak, somewhat stunned. He's not sure what else it could be.
Reaching out for his shoulder, he pulls him away from the door, but he makes no move to escape it. Instead, it's become clear that all his biting words have been to gloss over the true issue that he wants to make this break easier, but in the face of something wrong with Faraday, it washes away like footprints against the ocean. Pulling him to sit on the bed, Vasquez rummages through his bag and curses when his flask is empty.
"Wait here, si, I'm not leaving," he swears, even if he does leave the room. He's back in two minutes with a glass of water, though, setting it at Faraday's elbow as he crouches in front of him, trying to look for signs of slowness in the features, a stroke or a heart attack or something else that could make this man shut up.
It would have to be heaven sent, he thinks, because it's an impossible task.
Peering up at his face, he doesn't know what Faraday intended to say, but it's been made clear that so long as Faraday is hurting or in trouble, he's not going anywhere. He wishes he were selfish, still, that he could go back to before Rose Creek where the only person he cared about was himself.
That's no more, though. It's too late to go back.
"Drink," he coaxes. "Do I need to get the doctor?"
Faraday nearly barks out a laugh at Vasquez’s question, but he’s still reeling still completely blindsided by the realization. And how stupid can he truly be to not see it until this very moment?
Pretty damn stupid, he thinks. Maybe Vasquez has the right of it, after all.
But it’s something of a relief that Vasquez’s tone has shifted away from that biting, angry sharpness, and if Faraday has to suffer through his usual overblown worry for it, Faraday figures it’s a fair enough exchange. He goes where he’s led, slumping on the edge of the bed and rubbing at his brow. He only looks up when he hears Vasquez get to his feet, when he speaks, and even with the reassurance, Faraday still sits bolt upright.
“Wait, hold on—”
But Vasquez is already gone.
He’s back soon enough, though, and when Vasquez holds out the glass of water, Faraday gulps it down without complaint, gaze darting away once Vasquez crouches in front of him. The mention of a doctor makes Faraday scowl – he’s had enough of doctors tutting over him to last him a lifetime – and he sharply shakes his head.
“I’m fine,” he grunts out, finishing off the rest of his glass and setting it aside on a nightstand. He scrubs his face before risking a glance at Vasquez.
Hell, the bastard looks so worried, so earnestly concerned, and when the hell has anyone looked at Faraday with anything less than strained amusement or outright frustration or anger? When has anyone given enough of a shit to make sure he was well, darting off to grab glasses of water, ducking against him to take his weight when his leg gave out? Shit, it makes something warm twist in his chest, steals his breath away, and as obnoxious as he usually found it, gratitude still punched him in the gut, sudden and startling.
“I just...”
Faraday trails off, uncertain of where he was going with that. He swallows thickly, licking his lips.
He’s already falling, he figures. Falling and reeling and spinning, and his stomach leaps up to his throat for it. Faraday had been so careful, earlier this morning, to avoid wrinkling Vasquez’s clothes when he had gone to such trouble to gussy himself up, but—
Apparently Faraday no longer cares, because he grabs two fistfuls of Vasquez’s sleeves, his grip so tight that he’s sure to leave deep wrinkles in the material. He hauls the other man up half the way and leans down to close the rest of the distance in a clumsy, awkward kiss.
In Faraday’s defense, he’s never kissed a man before. In fact, he’s never had an interest in it until Vasquez.
He's watching Faraday carefully, like he might somehow give away some hint or indication about what's happened to him. Speechless is not something that has happened on the road between them, so it must be intensely serious for it to happen now. He watches the glass go to the nightstand, eyeing Faraday warily because 'I'm fine' has been said so many times, only does he ever believe it?
For the most part, it's always been an outright lie, if Vasquez is honest, because when Faraday says he's fine, it's always a mask to hide the fact that he's not. Either his leg is bad or he's trying to pretend that something isn't so bad.
What he would never in a thousand years expect by 'I'm fine' is what happens next. For a second, Vasquez actually thinks that he's gone and hit his head when he'd been getting the water. Maybe he's gone into some kind of concussion dream and he's stupidly dreaming of something he's thought about so many times before.
Faraday's lips on his.
His hands on his clothes, pulling him in.
It's the shock of the moment, the sheer disbelief it could be real, that lets Vasquez work on autopilot, surging forward and cupping Faraday's cheeks as he clambers his way onto the bed, diving deep into what he'd thought were forbidden waters. It's when he turns his face a little to inhale sharply before deepening the kiss that he hears the rasp of his beard on Faraday's skin, sees his hat tumble away, and those two things knock him back to reality.
Shaking his head, he eases back, gaping at Faraday. "I..." It looks like it's his turn to be speechless, barely aware that even though he's eased back, he is still straddling Faraday, so he hasn't exactly gone too far.
"If this is some kind of pity or joke, I don't want it," he warns, because the last thing he needs is for Faraday to do this because he wants to hold something over Vasquez's head or he thinks that if this happens, then it will all be fine.
Still, for a man who's protesting this, he hasn't moved from his straddle, hasn't stopped absently stroking his thumbs up and down the line of Faraday's neck, like he's just hoping.
There’s a brief, heart-dropping second where Vasquez doesn’t move, doesn’t react, and Faraday realizes what a giant goddamn mistake he’s made. His grip loosens slightly on Vasquez’s sleeves, and apologies start piling and piling on the tip of his tongue, ready to toss out in rapidfire succession.
Unnecessary, it turns out, as something seems to spur Vasquez forward, as he climbs into Faraday’s lap, a calloused hand curling over the line of Faraday’s jaw. His own hat falls away, tumbles somewhere to the floor, where it’s sure to lie forgotten for a little while yet. The kiss is fierce and bruising, a little too sharp, a little too much teeth – and later, Faraday will chalk it up to inexperience. To desperation and nerves and a frantic sense of want that had struck him like a shot to the gut.
Faraday’s always been an impulsive son of a bitch. It’s why he rode out when Sam taunted him with an impossible job. It’s why he stuck around when the odds were stacked entirely against them. It’s why he charged the Gatling gun, with little more than his mulish determination and a handful of prayers.
For once, though, it seems his impulsiveness has paid off, and when Vasquez backs off, Faraday is still gripping his sleeves, breathless and dazed. He licks his lips, head tilting back slightly as Vasquez brushes a line, up and down, up and down. (It really has no right feeling as nice as it does, he thinks, but it does.)
He snorts out a quick laugh, something obviously distracted and distant, but he flashes Vasquez one of his customary smirks. “You oughta know by now that I don’t do nothing unless I want to.”
It all seems so suspiciously good, if Vasquez ignores so much else, but his mind is running like crazy and he's gaping at Faraday where he's lying and Vasquez is breathing hard, and he has no idea what to do other than keep touching him because he's not being shoved away.
The clumsiness and the badness of the kiss faintly registers for him, a mental note being made that he's going to have to make that better, but no, no, this is the point.
"You like women," he says. "I've only seen you like women, I even flirted with you and you never did anything back," he protests, the confusion clear on his face and in his tone. He's gaping at Faraday, unsure what's changed to make this happen, but his heart is leaping in his chest as he starts to think about things like how he doesn't have to leave, the fact that they can keep travelling together, that he can keep touching Faraday.
Maybe. He has to understand why they went from demands about Vasquez keeping secrets to this.
"I need to know you're not doing this just to keep me around," he says sharply. "Because if it's so that I won't leave and not because you don't want it..." He trails off, not bluntly saying he doesn't want it then either, because maybe a part of him wouldn't entirely mind? Maybe he needs more self-respect, is what he's realizing.
Fuck, Faraday looks good down there with his dazed look, his lips wet, and that languid line to him. It's going to become a problem in his trousers soon enough, but he can't convince himself to get up.
He comes back to himself as Vasquez speaks, as he lays down truth after little bit of truth. And Faraday—
Well, shamefully, his cheeks color with it again, embarrassed to have it laid out before him like that. Hell, Vasquez is really going to make him try and explain himself, isn’t he? And Faraday hardly knows what he’s doing, what he’s feeling, because emotions and sentiment are complicated topics. He swallows thickly, gaze darting away. Holding Vasquez’s gaze while he tries to sort through this aloud is practically impossible. Bad enough the man has his weight against him, pinning him more or less in place. And maybe in a different moment, he’d feel trapped by it, but not now.
“I don’t...” he tries, voice hoarse with hesitance, but that’s a false start. He licks his lips, tries again, “I’ve never...”
Jesus goddamn wept. He can feel his face heating, and after he takes a deep, rallying breath, he forces the words out in a rush:
“I’ve never been with a man.”
It hardly seems like an explanation, admittedly, but after another breath to compose himself, Faraday continues on; he traces the woodgrain of the floorboards with his eyes.
“I didn’t... when you— flirted, I didn’t think... I thought it was— I thought it was a joke.” Which was more or less in line with their usual modes of conversation, half-truths and mischievous smirks. At any given moment, half of what either of them said was probably bullshit. “I hadn’t considered it a possibility.
“And I do like women,” and this comes out almost a little defensively, like Vasquez might accuse him of lying, but he backs away from that tone quickly enough. He lets out a shuddering breath, head bowing further. Then, slowly, hesitantly, “But I... I think I... For a little while, now, I think I’ve—”
He trails off, frustrated with his inability to say it outright, and he huffs out a sharp sigh. His cheeks feel like they’re burning when he finally grunts out, “You’re not so bad.”
By which he means, I think I like you, too, but apparently too much honesty makes Faraday want to vomit.
That look in Faraday's cheeks is entirely too flushed and too good for him, given that he's having troubles with keeping his own desires under wraps,
"I've been with enough men to know what to do," is his low response, his voice hoarse with desire. There's a dark look in his eyes because Faraday looks ridiculously good right now. He keeps stroking his fingers over the warmth of Faraday's neck, wanting to lean down and kiss him again, but he has to be patient.
When Faraday says 'you're not so bad', he laughs. It's a low and loud and wonderful thing and he's lighter than he has been in ages to feel it. "Querido," he murmurs, happy to finally get to say that again and mean it, and to also have Faraday understand it. "You're pretty awful," he says bluntly. "You drink and smoke and gamble and swear and snore," he says (even if that last is a lie, seeing as it's Vasquez who does the snoring).
Still, even as he's saying all this, he's closing the space between them, a determined glint in his eye.
"And you don't know how to kiss," is his last accusation, living for what that might provoke out of Faraday, now that he's only inches away from him and those flush cheeks of his.
Faraday isn’t the type to embarrass easily, but here he is, fighting down the urge to fidget like he’s a child caught out while trying to steal sweets. His face burns red hot with his discomfort. He’s never felt this vulnerable and exposed before – and that’s including what little he remembers of charging the Gatling gun, where he knelt in the grass with a chest filled with lead.
Apparently, Faraday has a much easier time facing down certain death than he does rejection. Who would’ve thought?
And still Vasquez keeps up that brush of his fingers, and Faraday bites down on his lower lip, enjoying the hell out of it. Vasquez’s hands are rough, calloused, but his touch is surprisingly gentle. Faraday unconsciously leans into it, forcing his grip on Vasquez’s sleeves to relax. Predictably, he’s left the fabric twisted and wrinkled, and he looks momentarily sorry for it, smoothing his palms down Vasquez’s arms to rest on his elbow.
His chest clenches with the warmth in Vasquez’s laugh, in the affection that he imbues the endearment with, and Faraday finally risks a glance up. Soon enough, though, Faraday’s expression turns flat and unenthused with each criticism, and he has half a mind to shove Vasquez straight to the floor. He doesn’t, though, obviously; not with the way Vasquez is leaning in so close that they share breath, and for a quick second, air catches in Faraday’s lungs, breath held and eyes transfixed on that infuriating smirk, and—
Faraday’s always been a competitive bastard, and with that final bit of criticism, he scowls at the other man.
But he’s always had something of a mean streak, too, which is why when he surges forward, he doesn’t immediately set to kissing Vasquez, and instead bites at his lower lip – almost like admonishment.
Vasquez barks out a laugh of delight when instead of a kiss, he gets a bite. The heat in his expression doesn't dwindle, instead kicking up in heat for the audacity of it and how very Faraday it is. "So is that a request to be taught? I think yes," he murmurs, after he lifts a thumb to rub back and forth over his lower lip, like he's considering this.
Sliding back, he slides his palms under Faraday's back to coax him into a sitting position, adjusting his straddle so that his ankles press into the small of Faraday's back as he sits in his lap, making himself as comfortable as he would be on top of a horse.
He's still in disbelief, still unable to believe this is possible, but with Faraday's cheeks so flushed and red, he doesn't want anyone else to see this but him. The jealousy is stoked quickly, but he puts it out as he cups Faraday by the neck and tugs him in slowly.
It's not quite how he'd kiss another man, but not how he'd kiss a woman either. There's a tenderness in it, born of what he feels for this man and how it's grown, so when he does finally slide in for a kiss, it's exploratory and slow, like he's intending to learn this man like this, in the privacy of their room and...
Laughing against Faraday's lips, he eases back when the bubble of amusement can't be stopped and it ruins the kiss.
"We only have one bed," is what he says, smirking. He can't believe that only a few hours ago, they would have expected that to be a problem.
Faraday resists Vasquez’s direction, at first, apparently determined to be a difficult bastard to the last, but at length he moves where he’s led. He swallows thickly as Vasquez settles more securely in his lap, feeling oddly exposed and self-conscious, even if he’s been in positions like this more times than he’s willing to count. But all those times were with women, of course, which makes this turn of events unique.
He swallows thickly at that look Vasquez gives him, something possessive and watchful that would be worrying on anyone else, but oddly attractive on Vasquez. Slowly, he lets Vasquez pull him in, expecting another fierce, desperate sort of kiss, but—
It’s nothing like that.
And this is new, too – brand new, in fact, because he no one has ever kissed him like this. Sweet and attentive in a way that makes Faraday nervous, that kicks up an odd sense of unease in his gut. He’s not used to anyone, man or woman, treating him so gently, and he hasn’t a single idea what to do with that.
Thankfully, Vasquez pulls away before Faraday’s agitation can ruin the moment, and Faraday breathes out a laugh at the comment.
“Seems to be the case,” he agrees. Then, a little slyly to mask the way his nerves kick up, “You intendin’ to put it to good use?”
He studies the offending item of furniture behind them considerately, giving a hum as he stares at it like it might somehow reach out and bite him. The truth is that he's still leaping at the idea of having the ability to touch and hold and kiss, he doesn't need to push them towards anything else, even if a part of him desperately wants it.
Laughing a little, but not at Faraday, it's a soft huff as he reaches through his hair to tame offending curls (he hasn't had a cut in ages and it's starting to get unruly) before he moves his fingers to scratch at Faraday's scalp and do the same. "Maybe. Maybe not," he admits, because if this is so new to Faraday, he doesn't want to spook him off.
Maybe it's not exactly the same as a horse, but it is very close, he thinks.
"Just this once," he decides, "I'm going to let you have control and not bicker with you. Maybe," he admits, because he still thinks that something might happen to make him argue. "What do you want to do? Anything you want," he promises. "Or half of it or a quarter, we do that."
He licks his lips, trying to calm the anxious wave that sweeps through him. World’s greatest lover he may be, but in this, he’s woefully inexperienced. He hasn’t felt this uncertain since he was a young man, just setting off on his own, learning how to smile and flirt and wink, learning how to deal cards and charm folks.
Vasquez’s fingers card through Faraday’s hair, and Faraday finds himself unconsciously leaning into the touch, eyes going half-lidded with how good it feels. It’s a generous offer that Vasquez is giving him, something patient and kind – and again, that agitated feeling kicks up in his gut. Faraday’s fingers tangle in Vasquez’s sleeves again, grip tightening to conceal his nerves, and he tries for a lazy shrug.
“As I recall,” he says, his voice carefully tempered to sound easy and relaxed, “you were the one who seemed so insistent on tryin’ to teach me something. You tryin’ to back down now?”
Maybe he's being goaded, but Vasquez isn't about to forget that Faraday admitted that he hasn't done anything with another man. That he should be the first one (and the last one, if his selfish possessive streak that's also jealous has anything to say about his encounters) is something he's not going to be upset about.
Still, the last thing he needs is to go too hard, too fast, and risk Faraday changing his mind about all of this. He uses the tug of his shirt and thinks that maybe he can just ease Faraday in.
Sliding back a little, he moves his fingers to Faraday's buttons, absently toying with them, even if he doesn't unbutton them just yet. "Guero, there's too much to teach in just one night," he points out, and with a glint in his eye, he thinks that he can at least start somewhere familiar.
Pushing at Faraday's shoulder hard enough so that his back will hit the bed, he stands and takes his boots off so that he can crawl after him, but instead of returning to his shirt, he gets a hand at the hem of Faraday's pants, smirking wickedly from his position.
"I could shave a little more, if you can wait," he offers, and while it may be a bit sharp and amused, he means it. If Faraday wants Vasquez to be clean-shaven for when he puts his mouth on him, to help his mind, he's willing. He'll look like he's a boy again, but he's willing.
Even if he tries not to, Faraday watches Vasquez's every move, like he expects a trick, like he's sitting at a card table, watching for double- or bottom-dealing. He licks his lips, glancing to Vasquez's hand as it wanders down the buttons of Faraday's vest, and when the other man pushes him back, Faraday resists – at least for a brief moment. But the other man isn't shoving him, just guiding him, and wary as Faraday is, he lets himself be pushed onto the bed.
As Vasquez moves to take off his boots, Faraday takes the moment to unbuckle his gun belt, setting it aside on the nightstand within easy reach – not because he expects he'll need them, but because he's always felt more comfortable with them nearby.
Vasquez crawls back into bed just as Faraday's fingers rest on the knot of his wild rag, tied around his throat, though he freezes the instant he feels the weight of Vasquez's palm at the buckle of his belt. Faraday looks up at the other man, caught somewhere between anxious and startled and intrigued. When it registers to him what Vasquez is offering, exactly, Faraday breathes out a laugh, shaking his head.
"Don't think that'd be necessary," he says, and if he sounds a little nervous, he'll thanks Vasquez not to point it out.
He likes being watched like this, if he's honest. It makes him feel like he's going to do something incredible that Faraday will not have had before, not like this. He grins, lopsided and full of mischief, as he stares at Faraday from where he's settles near his ankles, his long arms reaching up to loosen his belt and nudge it loose.
"I'm already much better trimmed," he assures with a determined glint as he yanks at Faraday's trousers, working neatly to get his buttons loose, grateful he hadn't drank too much earlier.
He thinks this is a good way to start. It's something Faraday knows, but different enough that he won't be thinking about his Maria or his Ethel while Vasquez is working down here, not unless they had some facial hair that he hadn't been told about. "Last chance," is his offer, but it's a quiet thing, recalcitrant and worried as he keeps his hands on the hem of Faraday's trousers, ready to pull them down and push them to the next step.
He wants to be cautious and careful, because he thinks that his heart would never mend the ache if he got so close to this, only to have it taken away (even if he's not entirely sure yet what it is he wants out of all of this).
Faraday feels like he’s balanced on a wire, as Vasquez’s hands rest on the waistband of his jeans, as Vasquez looms over him with that hint of worry, hidden away by the slyness of his smile. Faraday’s nervous – that much is obvious. He wasn’t in the habit of treading onto unfamiliar ground without an exit plan. Hell, he wasn’t in the habit of treading onto unfamiliar ground at all, if he could help it, but—
This would be worth it, he told himself. Or he hoped it would be, because the warmth of Vasquez’s calloused hands, even through the fabric of Faraday’s clothing, makes something hot and dark spiral straight to his stomach. The way Vasquez smiles, knowing and roguish, sends a bolt straight down his spine – and even if being with a man is new to Faraday, he still recognizes that sensation easily enough as desire.
Which, unexpectedly, made things slip a little more into focus.
One of Faraday’s hands found Vasquez’s, and with his palm resting atop, he hooked his own thumb beneath the waistband of his trousers, giving a pointed tug downward – not enough to divest himself of his clothing, but enough to tell Vasquez that he’s starting to lose patience and might just take matters into his own hands.
“C’mon,” he says, trying to sound waspish and impatient. Then, he pauses, mostly for show, and tuts quietly. “Unless you’re havin’ second thoughts about your own capabilities...”
Faraday might as well be beating Vasquez over the head with the challenge, but— maybe that’ll make things easier on both of them, if they turn this into something of a game. Another little competition to throw themselves into.
The crooked and mischievous smirk on his face starts to fade a little when Faraday implies that he's having second thoughts about his ability to please him, turning into a stubborn glint in his eye as he slides down Faraday's body, hands firmly running over his knees and calves and legs, tugging off his boots so that he can climb back up, glancing back up to that tempting glimpse of a hip bone.
Fuck, he's worked so hard not to stare at him when he's been changing or at his most vulnerable (like when the doctor had been changing the dressings), but it's nearly impossible not to look now.
"Remember you said that when I make it so you forget your own name," he warns, like he's insulted that Faraday could even think so little of him. He can see the challenge for what it is, but it still works on him. Grabbing at Faraday's pants, he pulls them to his knees and gives him about two seconds reprieve before he straddles him near his ankles, bent over to take him deep, one hand digging blunt nails hard into Faraday's hip as he slides off with a slick pop, not bothering to say a word before he starts to pay attention to working his tongue over the tip, just until he's ready to take him deep again.
Faraday feels oddly self-conscious, hunted, as Vasquez kneels above him, and he feels that peculiar nervous energy thrum through him, like the moments before a fight, where his fingers itch for a weapon. Instead, Faraday twists his hands into the coverlet, forcing his expression into something approaching calm and confident.
He lets Vasquez strip him down, his heartbeat kicking up to slam against his ribs as Vasquez studies him. He hisses in a startled breath once Vasquez strips him of his jeans and underthings – or at least pulls them down far enough to free Faraday's hardening cock. This time, Faraday doesn't have time enough to feel exposed, vulnerable, before Vasquez is bending over him, the slick heat of his mouth taking in his cock. A startled noise punches its way out of Faraday, trailing off into a groan as he falls back against the bed.
Vasquez is setting an almost relentless pace, almost like he worries Faraday might change his mind, and Faraday swears beneath his breath. His body seems to respond of its own accord, one hand gripping the bedspread, the other reaching for Vasquez. His nails skim across Vasquez's scalp, fingers tangling in those dark, unruly curls. And as much as he tries to keep himself under control, he rocks into the wet heat of Vasquez's mouth and that goddamn clever tongue.
"Fuck," he moans out, and his grip on Vasquez's hair tightens briefly. "Fucking— fucking hell, Vasquez—"
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2018-01-08 05:44 pm (UTC)For the second time today, Faraday feels like the ground has opened up beneath him, like he’s falling and falling and falling, with no end in sight, and—
He has no idea what to do.
He’s only half-listening to Vasquez’s words, the majority of them drowned out by the way his pulse pounds in his ears, roaring and echoing, but he catches the gist of it. Vasquez is leaving. Vasquez is leaving, and Faraday knew this day would come eventually, but not now. It feels like they’ve only just set out together; Faraday expected them to part ways some weeks or months down the line, but not this soon.
Once Vasquez lifts up his saddlebags, Faraday snaps back to himself, like he’s blinking awake after dozing off, and he straightens, putting his back to the door.
“No.”
The word tears itself from his throat, escapes on a barely voiced rasp; he hardly realizes he’s said it until its fallen from his lips, but— well, he sure as hell isn’t taking it back.
(But what he really wants to say is Don’t go.)
“Hell, Vasquez. It’s been all of ten minutes of—” And he falters for the right word, the right phrasing. “—of me... knowing. We haven’t even tried.”
no subject
Date: 2018-01-08 06:28 pm (UTC)"What, I get no say in this?" he snaps at him, irritably, as he narrows his eyes at Faraday, wondering why he's not allowed to do what he wants (even though this isn't what he wants, but it will be the best in the long run).
Disbelief is dominant on his face as he scoffs. "I don't want to sit around a campfire miserably waiting while you flirt with the women in towns I can't go into, some pathetic idiota enamorado and eventually left when you find something better because now you don't want to come back."
It had been so much better when Faraday had been in the dark and none of this was a problem for them.
"You're not going to let me help with your pain," he points out. "Because now you'll see my hands on you differently. Every time I tease you now, you're saying you don't flinch, won't look away?" He shakes his head, having convinced himself of the certainty of this future in his mind. "Tried what? Tried that? You didn't even want to talk about the dream I had last night, now you're going to be okay knowing all this? Having it in your face? No eres tan estúpido, you know that won't work."
no subject
Date: 2018-01-08 10:07 pm (UTC)“That— that was different,” he insists again, and he feels color rising up his neck, coloring his cheeks, as he stumbles over his words. “That was— I thought you were— I didn’t think—”
He had assumed – wrongly, apparently – that Vasquez would have appreciated Faraday saving him the embarrassment of having to explain himself, would have appreciated Faraday’s rare instance of discretion. Dreams were hardly indicators of reality, anyway. Just because a man dreamed he had the head of a horse didn’t mean that’s what he wanted, and Faraday had imagined it was the same sort of situation, here.
He shakes his head sharply, frustrated and redirecting his focus.
“Stop doing that,” he snaps, once Vasquez slips into his native tongue again. “Talk so I can understand it, damn it.”
A silly thing to focus on, but far easier than the wild, snapping creature whose shadow has fallen over them.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-08 10:54 pm (UTC)"You didn't think, not a surprise," he tells him, sneering. "You want for me to speak English? Fine," he snaps, even though the Spanish had been because in his heightened state of emotion, Spanish is just easier for him to fall back on, but if Faraday wants all of the truth, then he can have it all.
Let him flush and stammer and feel awkward around him, if he's going to demand it, then Vasquez is happy to keep going down this awful, endless track. "I said that I don't want to sit around like a lovesick idiot while you flirt with your women," he says, pushing at Faraday's shoulder to push him against the door, wanting to get out of this room. "That you're not so stupid to think that everything can go on the same." Another push and he cocks his head to the side, challenging. "That you'll sit there and let your leg lock up, stop joking with me, that's what should be your future?"
He wants to push and push, make Faraday snap and see the point -- this can't work and the sooner they both understand it, the sooner they can deal with the separation, the sooner Vasquez can go lick his wounds and mend his heart.
"Let me out," he says, low and sharp. "I want out of this fucking room," he says, breathing out the profanity like he's exhausted. "I need a drink."
no subject
Date: 2018-01-08 11:24 pm (UTC)It hurts, in a way, even if it’s hardly the harshest thing anyone has ever said to him. But as with most things, it just serves to stoke Faraday’s ire, making his expression darken and darken until his jaw clenches so tightly he thinks his teeth might shatter with it. He bears each of Vasquez’s shoves with surprising composure, even if his fingers reflexively twitch for the reassuring weight of his revolvers – but they’re just talking. Just talking. And even with as angry as the two of them are, snapping and snarling, Faraday isn’t about to go for his guns.
They’re friends, after all.
Or... were friends, and the thought is yet another blow to the gut.
He takes breath after steadying breath, trying to swallow down the anger rising up his throat like bile.
“If I let you out,” he says slowly, with a patience he hardly feels but seems able to mimic a little effectively. “I don’t trust that you’re not gonna run off.”
And it hangs silently in the air between them, the words he doesn’t speak: I don’t want you to go.
Selfish of him, he knows, but Faraday has always been a selfish bastard.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-09 12:07 am (UTC)Then, instead of arguing back or shouting, he just speaks calmly and patiently. Gaping at him with disbelief, Vasquez wonders what the hell has changed to make him so mature and calm.
Without meaning to, he sags a little in the shoulders, not taking his eyes off Faraday. "I'm not going to go," he vows, even if Faraday won't believe him. "I'm just going to go back to the saloon and drink until I pass out." He can't just go, not yet, he just doesn't want to be stuck in this room.
Now that the anger has ebbed slightly, Vasquez sees how close he is to Faraday, how intimately close. Stepping back, he swallows back other words, ones that are cruel and aimed to hurt.
"Why do you care so much that I stay?" he asks, because maybe that's the answer he really needs, before he can make a decision about what happens next.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-09 01:14 am (UTC)Faraday is just a far better bluffer than Vasquez is.
Deep down, something thrashes and snaps inside him, dark and confused and afraid, panicking at the thought of Vasquez leaving him behind, at the idea that Faraday has fucked this up, somehow. That he’s ruined this, because that’s what he does. He’s been on his own for this long for a reason. Folks get sick of him. Get tired of him. Lose patience with him. He had hoped he’d have longer with Vasquez, at least. Hoped that with as similar as they were, they’d have something of an understanding. Only— they have a larger problem falling between them, and he has no idea how to handle it, how to fix it.
He hardly looks convinced by Vasquez’s promise, even if it sounds sincere, because— because maybe Vasquez won’t leave, but he’ll be back in that damned saloon, back with handsome, charming Josiah, and that son of a bitch of a barkeep will sense that bit of vulnerability and swoop in, and—
And why does he care? He shouldn’t give a shit, right? If Vasquez wanted to enjoy someone else’s company for the evening after all this mess, Faraday should let him, shouldn’t he? “Why not indulge?” he had asked just a handful of minutes ago, even if something that soured in him with the asking.
And that ugly thing writhes in him again, twists at his gut, claws the inside of his ribs. He doesn’t want to think about Vasquez with anyone else. Not with Josiah and his perfect Spanish, or Henrietta, with her dark eyes and confident smile. He doesn’t want Vasquez to fall into anyone else’s bed, because—
And when Vasquez poses that question to him, Faraday visibly flounders until the answer strikes him like a bolt of lightning. He goes rigid with it, eyes widening.
—Because he wants Vasquez.
It clicks into place so suddenly, so abruptly, that he forgets how to breathe for a long moment. And suddenly everything makes sense, just as much as it all feels equally confusing, still.
“I...” It’s strangled, choked out, a million words stopping up his throat, color rising in his cheeks, at the tips of his ears. He brings up a hand to scrub at his brow, eyes darting down to the floor. “I...”
Maybe in a different moment, it would be hilarious to see the silver-tongued Joshua Faraday at a complete loss for words.
Hell, maybe it’s hilarious even now.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-09 01:53 am (UTC)It may seem like a stupid question, but in his defense, he's never seen Faraday look this way. He looks flushed and he can't speak, somewhat stunned. He's not sure what else it could be.
Reaching out for his shoulder, he pulls him away from the door, but he makes no move to escape it. Instead, it's become clear that all his biting words have been to gloss over the true issue that he wants to make this break easier, but in the face of something wrong with Faraday, it washes away like footprints against the ocean. Pulling him to sit on the bed, Vasquez rummages through his bag and curses when his flask is empty.
"Wait here, si, I'm not leaving," he swears, even if he does leave the room. He's back in two minutes with a glass of water, though, setting it at Faraday's elbow as he crouches in front of him, trying to look for signs of slowness in the features, a stroke or a heart attack or something else that could make this man shut up.
It would have to be heaven sent, he thinks, because it's an impossible task.
Peering up at his face, he doesn't know what Faraday intended to say, but it's been made clear that so long as Faraday is hurting or in trouble, he's not going anywhere. He wishes he were selfish, still, that he could go back to before Rose Creek where the only person he cared about was himself.
That's no more, though. It's too late to go back.
"Drink," he coaxes. "Do I need to get the doctor?"
no subject
Date: 2018-01-10 06:19 pm (UTC)Pretty damn stupid, he thinks. Maybe Vasquez has the right of it, after all.
But it’s something of a relief that Vasquez’s tone has shifted away from that biting, angry sharpness, and if Faraday has to suffer through his usual overblown worry for it, Faraday figures it’s a fair enough exchange. He goes where he’s led, slumping on the edge of the bed and rubbing at his brow. He only looks up when he hears Vasquez get to his feet, when he speaks, and even with the reassurance, Faraday still sits bolt upright.
“Wait, hold on—”
But Vasquez is already gone.
He’s back soon enough, though, and when Vasquez holds out the glass of water, Faraday gulps it down without complaint, gaze darting away once Vasquez crouches in front of him. The mention of a doctor makes Faraday scowl – he’s had enough of doctors tutting over him to last him a lifetime – and he sharply shakes his head.
“I’m fine,” he grunts out, finishing off the rest of his glass and setting it aside on a nightstand. He scrubs his face before risking a glance at Vasquez.
Hell, the bastard looks so worried, so earnestly concerned, and when the hell has anyone looked at Faraday with anything less than strained amusement or outright frustration or anger? When has anyone given enough of a shit to make sure he was well, darting off to grab glasses of water, ducking against him to take his weight when his leg gave out? Shit, it makes something warm twist in his chest, steals his breath away, and as obnoxious as he usually found it, gratitude still punched him in the gut, sudden and startling.
“I just...”
Faraday trails off, uncertain of where he was going with that. He swallows thickly, licking his lips.
He’s already falling, he figures. Falling and reeling and spinning, and his stomach leaps up to his throat for it. Faraday had been so careful, earlier this morning, to avoid wrinkling Vasquez’s clothes when he had gone to such trouble to gussy himself up, but—
Apparently Faraday no longer cares, because he grabs two fistfuls of Vasquez’s sleeves, his grip so tight that he’s sure to leave deep wrinkles in the material. He hauls the other man up half the way and leans down to close the rest of the distance in a clumsy, awkward kiss.
In Faraday’s defense, he’s never kissed a man before. In fact, he’s never had an interest in it until Vasquez.
But, hey, so far, so good.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-10 11:16 pm (UTC)For the most part, it's always been an outright lie, if Vasquez is honest, because when Faraday says he's fine, it's always a mask to hide the fact that he's not. Either his leg is bad or he's trying to pretend that something isn't so bad.
What he would never in a thousand years expect by 'I'm fine' is what happens next. For a second, Vasquez actually thinks that he's gone and hit his head when he'd been getting the water. Maybe he's gone into some kind of concussion dream and he's stupidly dreaming of something he's thought about so many times before.
Faraday's lips on his.
His hands on his clothes, pulling him in.
It's the shock of the moment, the sheer disbelief it could be real, that lets Vasquez work on autopilot, surging forward and cupping Faraday's cheeks as he clambers his way onto the bed, diving deep into what he'd thought were forbidden waters. It's when he turns his face a little to inhale sharply before deepening the kiss that he hears the rasp of his beard on Faraday's skin, sees his hat tumble away, and those two things knock him back to reality.
Shaking his head, he eases back, gaping at Faraday. "I..." It looks like it's his turn to be speechless, barely aware that even though he's eased back, he is still straddling Faraday, so he hasn't exactly gone too far.
"If this is some kind of pity or joke, I don't want it," he warns, because the last thing he needs is for Faraday to do this because he wants to hold something over Vasquez's head or he thinks that if this happens, then it will all be fine.
Still, for a man who's protesting this, he hasn't moved from his straddle, hasn't stopped absently stroking his thumbs up and down the line of Faraday's neck, like he's just hoping.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-10 11:33 pm (UTC)Unnecessary, it turns out, as something seems to spur Vasquez forward, as he climbs into Faraday’s lap, a calloused hand curling over the line of Faraday’s jaw. His own hat falls away, tumbles somewhere to the floor, where it’s sure to lie forgotten for a little while yet. The kiss is fierce and bruising, a little too sharp, a little too much teeth – and later, Faraday will chalk it up to inexperience. To desperation and nerves and a frantic sense of want that had struck him like a shot to the gut.
Faraday’s always been an impulsive son of a bitch. It’s why he rode out when Sam taunted him with an impossible job. It’s why he stuck around when the odds were stacked entirely against them. It’s why he charged the Gatling gun, with little more than his mulish determination and a handful of prayers.
For once, though, it seems his impulsiveness has paid off, and when Vasquez backs off, Faraday is still gripping his sleeves, breathless and dazed. He licks his lips, head tilting back slightly as Vasquez brushes a line, up and down, up and down. (It really has no right feeling as nice as it does, he thinks, but it does.)
He snorts out a quick laugh, something obviously distracted and distant, but he flashes Vasquez one of his customary smirks. “You oughta know by now that I don’t do nothing unless I want to.”
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 12:00 am (UTC)The clumsiness and the badness of the kiss faintly registers for him, a mental note being made that he's going to have to make that better, but no, no, this is the point.
"You like women," he says. "I've only seen you like women, I even flirted with you and you never did anything back," he protests, the confusion clear on his face and in his tone. He's gaping at Faraday, unsure what's changed to make this happen, but his heart is leaping in his chest as he starts to think about things like how he doesn't have to leave, the fact that they can keep travelling together, that he can keep touching Faraday.
Maybe. He has to understand why they went from demands about Vasquez keeping secrets to this.
"I need to know you're not doing this just to keep me around," he says sharply. "Because if it's so that I won't leave and not because you don't want it..." He trails off, not bluntly saying he doesn't want it then either, because maybe a part of him wouldn't entirely mind? Maybe he needs more self-respect, is what he's realizing.
Fuck, Faraday looks good down there with his dazed look, his lips wet, and that languid line to him. It's going to become a problem in his trousers soon enough, but he can't convince himself to get up.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 12:26 am (UTC)Well, shamefully, his cheeks color with it again, embarrassed to have it laid out before him like that. Hell, Vasquez is really going to make him try and explain himself, isn’t he? And Faraday hardly knows what he’s doing, what he’s feeling, because emotions and sentiment are complicated topics. He swallows thickly, gaze darting away. Holding Vasquez’s gaze while he tries to sort through this aloud is practically impossible. Bad enough the man has his weight against him, pinning him more or less in place. And maybe in a different moment, he’d feel trapped by it, but not now.
“I don’t...” he tries, voice hoarse with hesitance, but that’s a false start. He licks his lips, tries again, “I’ve never...”
Jesus goddamn wept. He can feel his face heating, and after he takes a deep, rallying breath, he forces the words out in a rush:
“I’ve never been with a man.”
It hardly seems like an explanation, admittedly, but after another breath to compose himself, Faraday continues on; he traces the woodgrain of the floorboards with his eyes.
“I didn’t... when you— flirted, I didn’t think... I thought it was— I thought it was a joke.” Which was more or less in line with their usual modes of conversation, half-truths and mischievous smirks. At any given moment, half of what either of them said was probably bullshit. “I hadn’t considered it a possibility.
“And I do like women,” and this comes out almost a little defensively, like Vasquez might accuse him of lying, but he backs away from that tone quickly enough. He lets out a shuddering breath, head bowing further. Then, slowly, hesitantly, “But I... I think I... For a little while, now, I think I’ve—”
He trails off, frustrated with his inability to say it outright, and he huffs out a sharp sigh. His cheeks feel like they’re burning when he finally grunts out, “You’re not so bad.”
By which he means, I think I like you, too, but apparently too much honesty makes Faraday want to vomit.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 12:57 am (UTC)"I've been with enough men to know what to do," is his low response, his voice hoarse with desire. There's a dark look in his eyes because Faraday looks ridiculously good right now. He keeps stroking his fingers over the warmth of Faraday's neck, wanting to lean down and kiss him again, but he has to be patient.
When Faraday says 'you're not so bad', he laughs. It's a low and loud and wonderful thing and he's lighter than he has been in ages to feel it. "Querido," he murmurs, happy to finally get to say that again and mean it, and to also have Faraday understand it. "You're pretty awful," he says bluntly. "You drink and smoke and gamble and swear and snore," he says (even if that last is a lie, seeing as it's Vasquez who does the snoring).
Still, even as he's saying all this, he's closing the space between them, a determined glint in his eye.
"And you don't know how to kiss," is his last accusation, living for what that might provoke out of Faraday, now that he's only inches away from him and those flush cheeks of his.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 01:16 am (UTC)Apparently, Faraday has a much easier time facing down certain death than he does rejection. Who would’ve thought?
And still Vasquez keeps up that brush of his fingers, and Faraday bites down on his lower lip, enjoying the hell out of it. Vasquez’s hands are rough, calloused, but his touch is surprisingly gentle. Faraday unconsciously leans into it, forcing his grip on Vasquez’s sleeves to relax. Predictably, he’s left the fabric twisted and wrinkled, and he looks momentarily sorry for it, smoothing his palms down Vasquez’s arms to rest on his elbow.
His chest clenches with the warmth in Vasquez’s laugh, in the affection that he imbues the endearment with, and Faraday finally risks a glance up. Soon enough, though, Faraday’s expression turns flat and unenthused with each criticism, and he has half a mind to shove Vasquez straight to the floor. He doesn’t, though, obviously; not with the way Vasquez is leaning in so close that they share breath, and for a quick second, air catches in Faraday’s lungs, breath held and eyes transfixed on that infuriating smirk, and—
Faraday’s always been a competitive bastard, and with that final bit of criticism, he scowls at the other man.
But he’s always had something of a mean streak, too, which is why when he surges forward, he doesn’t immediately set to kissing Vasquez, and instead bites at his lower lip – almost like admonishment.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 01:48 am (UTC)Sliding back, he slides his palms under Faraday's back to coax him into a sitting position, adjusting his straddle so that his ankles press into the small of Faraday's back as he sits in his lap, making himself as comfortable as he would be on top of a horse.
He's still in disbelief, still unable to believe this is possible, but with Faraday's cheeks so flushed and red, he doesn't want anyone else to see this but him. The jealousy is stoked quickly, but he puts it out as he cups Faraday by the neck and tugs him in slowly.
It's not quite how he'd kiss another man, but not how he'd kiss a woman either. There's a tenderness in it, born of what he feels for this man and how it's grown, so when he does finally slide in for a kiss, it's exploratory and slow, like he's intending to learn this man like this, in the privacy of their room and...
Laughing against Faraday's lips, he eases back when the bubble of amusement can't be stopped and it ruins the kiss.
"We only have one bed," is what he says, smirking. He can't believe that only a few hours ago, they would have expected that to be a problem.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 08:08 pm (UTC)He swallows thickly at that look Vasquez gives him, something possessive and watchful that would be worrying on anyone else, but oddly attractive on Vasquez. Slowly, he lets Vasquez pull him in, expecting another fierce, desperate sort of kiss, but—
It’s nothing like that.
And this is new, too – brand new, in fact, because he no one has ever kissed him like this. Sweet and attentive in a way that makes Faraday nervous, that kicks up an odd sense of unease in his gut. He’s not used to anyone, man or woman, treating him so gently, and he hasn’t a single idea what to do with that.
Thankfully, Vasquez pulls away before Faraday’s agitation can ruin the moment, and Faraday breathes out a laugh at the comment.
“Seems to be the case,” he agrees. Then, a little slyly to mask the way his nerves kick up, “You intendin’ to put it to good use?”
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 08:54 pm (UTC)Laughing a little, but not at Faraday, it's a soft huff as he reaches through his hair to tame offending curls (he hasn't had a cut in ages and it's starting to get unruly) before he moves his fingers to scratch at Faraday's scalp and do the same. "Maybe. Maybe not," he admits, because if this is so new to Faraday, he doesn't want to spook him off.
Maybe it's not exactly the same as a horse, but it is very close, he thinks.
"Just this once," he decides, "I'm going to let you have control and not bicker with you. Maybe," he admits, because he still thinks that something might happen to make him argue. "What do you want to do? Anything you want," he promises. "Or half of it or a quarter, we do that."
no subject
Date: 2018-01-12 11:56 pm (UTC)Vasquez’s fingers card through Faraday’s hair, and Faraday finds himself unconsciously leaning into the touch, eyes going half-lidded with how good it feels. It’s a generous offer that Vasquez is giving him, something patient and kind – and again, that agitated feeling kicks up in his gut. Faraday’s fingers tangle in Vasquez’s sleeves again, grip tightening to conceal his nerves, and he tries for a lazy shrug.
“As I recall,” he says, his voice carefully tempered to sound easy and relaxed, “you were the one who seemed so insistent on tryin’ to teach me something. You tryin’ to back down now?”
no subject
Date: 2018-01-13 12:40 am (UTC)Still, the last thing he needs is to go too hard, too fast, and risk Faraday changing his mind about all of this. He uses the tug of his shirt and thinks that maybe he can just ease Faraday in.
Sliding back a little, he moves his fingers to Faraday's buttons, absently toying with them, even if he doesn't unbutton them just yet. "Guero, there's too much to teach in just one night," he points out, and with a glint in his eye, he thinks that he can at least start somewhere familiar.
Pushing at Faraday's shoulder hard enough so that his back will hit the bed, he stands and takes his boots off so that he can crawl after him, but instead of returning to his shirt, he gets a hand at the hem of Faraday's pants, smirking wickedly from his position.
"I could shave a little more, if you can wait," he offers, and while it may be a bit sharp and amused, he means it. If Faraday wants Vasquez to be clean-shaven for when he puts his mouth on him, to help his mind, he's willing. He'll look like he's a boy again, but he's willing.
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Date: 2018-01-17 09:27 am (UTC)As Vasquez moves to take off his boots, Faraday takes the moment to unbuckle his gun belt, setting it aside on the nightstand within easy reach – not because he expects he'll need them, but because he's always felt more comfortable with them nearby.
Vasquez crawls back into bed just as Faraday's fingers rest on the knot of his wild rag, tied around his throat, though he freezes the instant he feels the weight of Vasquez's palm at the buckle of his belt. Faraday looks up at the other man, caught somewhere between anxious and startled and intrigued. When it registers to him what Vasquez is offering, exactly, Faraday breathes out a laugh, shaking his head.
"Don't think that'd be necessary," he says, and if he sounds a little nervous, he'll thanks Vasquez not to point it out.
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Date: 2018-01-18 05:10 am (UTC)"I'm already much better trimmed," he assures with a determined glint as he yanks at Faraday's trousers, working neatly to get his buttons loose, grateful he hadn't drank too much earlier.
He thinks this is a good way to start. It's something Faraday knows, but different enough that he won't be thinking about his Maria or his Ethel while Vasquez is working down here, not unless they had some facial hair that he hadn't been told about. "Last chance," is his offer, but it's a quiet thing, recalcitrant and worried as he keeps his hands on the hem of Faraday's trousers, ready to pull them down and push them to the next step.
He wants to be cautious and careful, because he thinks that his heart would never mend the ache if he got so close to this, only to have it taken away (even if he's not entirely sure yet what it is he wants out of all of this).
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Date: 2018-01-18 11:38 pm (UTC)This would be worth it, he told himself. Or he hoped it would be, because the warmth of Vasquez’s calloused hands, even through the fabric of Faraday’s clothing, makes something hot and dark spiral straight to his stomach. The way Vasquez smiles, knowing and roguish, sends a bolt straight down his spine – and even if being with a man is new to Faraday, he still recognizes that sensation easily enough as desire.
Which, unexpectedly, made things slip a little more into focus.
One of Faraday’s hands found Vasquez’s, and with his palm resting atop, he hooked his own thumb beneath the waistband of his trousers, giving a pointed tug downward – not enough to divest himself of his clothing, but enough to tell Vasquez that he’s starting to lose patience and might just take matters into his own hands.
“C’mon,” he says, trying to sound waspish and impatient. Then, he pauses, mostly for show, and tuts quietly. “Unless you’re havin’ second thoughts about your own capabilities...”
Faraday might as well be beating Vasquez over the head with the challenge, but— maybe that’ll make things easier on both of them, if they turn this into something of a game. Another little competition to throw themselves into.
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Date: 2018-01-19 03:09 am (UTC)Fuck, he's worked so hard not to stare at him when he's been changing or at his most vulnerable (like when the doctor had been changing the dressings), but it's nearly impossible not to look now.
"Remember you said that when I make it so you forget your own name," he warns, like he's insulted that Faraday could even think so little of him. He can see the challenge for what it is, but it still works on him. Grabbing at Faraday's pants, he pulls them to his knees and gives him about two seconds reprieve before he straddles him near his ankles, bent over to take him deep, one hand digging blunt nails hard into Faraday's hip as he slides off with a slick pop, not bothering to say a word before he starts to pay attention to working his tongue over the tip, just until he's ready to take him deep again.
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Date: 2018-01-21 04:22 am (UTC)He lets Vasquez strip him down, his heartbeat kicking up to slam against his ribs as Vasquez studies him. He hisses in a startled breath once Vasquez strips him of his jeans and underthings – or at least pulls them down far enough to free Faraday's hardening cock. This time, Faraday doesn't have time enough to feel exposed, vulnerable, before Vasquez is bending over him, the slick heat of his mouth taking in his cock. A startled noise punches its way out of Faraday, trailing off into a groan as he falls back against the bed.
Vasquez is setting an almost relentless pace, almost like he worries Faraday might change his mind, and Faraday swears beneath his breath. His body seems to respond of its own accord, one hand gripping the bedspread, the other reaching for Vasquez. His nails skim across Vasquez's scalp, fingers tangling in those dark, unruly curls. And as much as he tries to keep himself under control, he rocks into the wet heat of Vasquez's mouth and that goddamn clever tongue.
"Fuck," he moans out, and his grip on Vasquez's hair tightens briefly. "Fucking— fucking hell, Vasquez—"
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